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My Book of Mormon

New RSS feed: http://mybookofmormonpodcast.libsyn.com/rss Ever wondered what Mormon religious texts really say? Play the drinking game with us as we read them all!!!
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Now displaying: 2018
Jun 30, 2018

William Law and friends published the first and only edition of The Nauvoo Expositor on June 7, 1844. This was the newspaper published by dissident Mormons which was declared a "public nuisance" by the Nauvoo City Council on June 8, 1844. By authority of the Council's order the Expositor press was destroyed that same day and the newspaper was immediately shut down. It never resumed publication.

 

Drink Count - As needed

 

Patron Bonus: Raw emotions after a witnessed car crash

The Nauvoo Expositor

Jun 23, 2018

Throwback to July 2017 when Marie accidentally invited missionaries to her house.

Jun 16, 2018

Today’s political statement/revelation lets us know the church believes you should follow secular law… kind of? It definitely is a pro-slavery church because that’s what this revelation plainly says. Once more for the people in the back, THE CHURCH CONDONES SLAVERY.

Drink count – 0

Patron Bonus: Marie and Bryce catch up from vacation

How to Vote In Every State – YouTube

Ear Hustle brings you the stories of life inside prison,
shared and produced by those living it

Opening Arguments breaks down the Colorado baker case

Joseph Bishop is accused of sexual assault during his time running the MTC 

Jun 9, 2018

This was originally the appendix/closing of the Book of Commandments. Since the BoC was never fully published, it was included as part of the revelations instead of a separate appendix. It's the return of Pangea at the end of days, with a brief visit to Canada first. Eternity is singing to god. That god is having a big ol' tantrum because his creations aren't paying him enough attention, so watch out or he'll send you to outer darkness.

 

Drink Count - 19

 

The Links

Patron Bonus - Marie vs the Texas accent

CompareDandC.com

Jun 2, 2018

D&C 101 was in the 1835 and 1844 versions of the D&C... and then was removed. You can't find it referenced on LDS.org, so it's almost as if it was *gasp* removed entirely so that it wouldn't conflict so drastically with modern day D&C 132. Here's what it says:

 

You can get married to a non-believer, you'll just be marked as "weak". When you get married it should be public and done according to local laws. Your officiant needs to wing it, no writing a ceremony beforehand! Pledge to be monogamous to your hetero spouse. Monogamy is the only option, heterosexuality is the only sexuality, public is the only type of ceremony to be done.

 

Drink count - 0

 

The Links

Fair Mormon apologist view on D&C 101's removal

D&C 101 on Joseph Smith Papers

Patron Bonus: Marie joined a Mormon dating site

May 26, 2018

Colleen Dietz and Miranda Crandall from the Mormon Happy Hour Podcast join us to drink our way through the second half of polygamy. Follow, support, listen, for they are amazing.

Joseph Smith shames Emma Smith for even daring to potentially have given a glance at William Law while asserting his own power to "seal" with anyone he desires. Virgins are the best! So are the non-virgins who have been vetted for their worth. #barf

The Petticoat Affair - Peggy Eaton was a widow, not a divorcee as I'd stated. 

All The Links

MBOM Patron Bonus Episode: A brief history of the Detroit stake, aka the most awkward photo shoot ever

Mormon Happy Hour Podcast 

@MormonHappyHour

Patreon.com/MormonHappyHour

 

 

May 19, 2018
Polygamy!!! It's happening!!!! Joseph spends all day in a room with William Clayton and Hyrum Smith penning this revelation. It's such an important revelation that if you don't follow it you WILL NOT GET INTO HEAVEN. This is when we find out that men who enter into the principle of plural marriage are the ones who become gods after they die.
 
George D Smith - Nauvoo Polygamy: But We Called It Celestial Marriage
 
Cristina Rosetti is brilliant and amazing and you should follow her on Twitter
 
Patron bonus: Miracle of Forgiveness - The Sin Next to Murder, Part 3
 
May 12, 2018

The Nauvoo Mormons are being fast-tracked into Masonry, which we should care about, but we care more about how to identify a good or bad spirit.

Angels get their own planet, as do men, but not women. Joseph prophesies the Civil War.

 

Patron Bonus: The Miracle of Forgiveness, The Sin Next To Murder, Part 2

May 5, 2018

Is there a specific calling for Baptism for the Dead clerk? Email Marie at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com because she really needs to know.

More on baptisms for the dead. There should always be at least 2 witnesses, ideally 3, for each baptism. The church recorder should record each one, and also record sealings. This book is somehow also created in heaven (not sure why). Know that if your name isn't in this official holy church record then God won't find you and be able to let you into the celestial kingdom. Now, go build that temple!!!!!!

 

Patron Bonus: Miracle of Forgiveness, Part 1

 

 

Apr 28, 2018

Joseph has married another 14 women and managed to turn himself into the mayor of Nauvoo, IL. In celebration, he nopes out of town
until his followers repay his debts. He'll make like the apostle Paul and write letters to the believers. Definitely make sure you keep track of who is getting baptized during baptisms for the dead.

Drink count - 4

 

Patron Bonus: How should we talk about polygamy and consent?

 

Support the show at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

Email Marie at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Apr 21, 2018

Build up a city on the Iowa side of the river, possibly so that Joseph can escape jurisdiction in Illinois by hopping over the border from Nauvoo to Montrose. Brigham Young has returned from his mission overseas and brought an influx of believers from England. Plural marriage is full-on happening, and it's not always incredibly full of consent.

Nephi's Courage

 

Patron Bonus: "I do Mormonism for fun" is one heck of a conversation!

 

Read along with us at https://comparedandc.com/

Apr 14, 2018

Sidney Rigdon has been hitting the bottle a bit too hard and is considering going back to Ohio. Joseph strikes that down by telling
him to not only stay in Illinois, but to move closer to Joseph's soon-to-be built mansion. Robert D. Foster enters the timeline! Don't spoil it for Marie, just google him and leave zero comments about it. Also, Nauvoo House is the 1841 equivalent to a 2018 start-up in Silicon Valley. Viva la Melchizedek Priesthood!!!!

Drink count - ??? This was part 5, I stopped counting long ago

 

Patron Bonus - Technical Difficulties in Podcasting

 

Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

Leave a comment at MyBookofMormonPodcast.com

Apr 7, 2018

The Nauvoo house is owned by the Community of Christ today, but now is when the saints are told to build it. The church issues "investments" into the creation of the Nauvoo house, which looks suspiciously like a terrible idea. Oliver Cowdery is replaced by Hyrum Smith and William Law is given a few too many superpowers.

 

Drink count - lots? I wasn't keeping track, my bad

 

Patron Bonus: Bryce went to the Protect LDS Children march

 

Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

Contact me directly at Comments@MyBookofMormonPodcast.com

Leave a comment at https://mybookofmormonpodcast.com/

 

Mar 31, 2018

If you build a temple, they will come. *channels Field of Dreams*


Baptism for the dead is mentioned for the first time! It has to be done, but only AFTER the Nauvoo Temple is built, so give us all your resources to build that before we build houses for our own. No specific timeline, god understands that bad people may try to stop the Saints, don't worry about it. 

 

Drink count - a LOT, plus a shot

 

Patron Bonus: Sister Missionary Action Figurines!!!!!!!

 

Quorum Podcast

Mar 24, 2018

Mormonism is about to become entwined with Masonry. Joseph Smith now can say he's Joseph Smith Sr since his dad has passed away, which is kinda sneaky, but works. April 6 is Jesus's birthday, God
loves Hyrum Smith, and the Nauvoo House is decreed to be built. Obviously, it doesn't go as planned. Don't worry everyone, it'll all end up okay because heaven exists and if you die, that's where you go.


The Morgan Affair 

 

Patron Bonus Episode: Yet another religious figure gets handsy

 

 

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Mar 10, 2018

Joseph and his BFFs escape/bribe the guards to get out of jail and run off to a malaria-ridden swamp in Illinois. He heads to D.C. to take the saint's grievances to Pres. Van Buren, saving the passengers of a runaway coach along the way. Van Buren doesn't help them, so they start the trek back to Illinois.

John C. Bennett enters the timeline by becoming Joseph's unofficial second in command. He's a politician/lobbyest whose sway is critical in the creation of the city of Nauvoo. That Nauvoo charter grants Joseph some broad powers that will come in quite handy in the future (but we're not there yet). It's the episode where free will doesn't exist!!!

Drink count - 3

Patron Bonus: Frakkin' Bad Movie Ep 3 - Lorezno's Songbook

 

Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Email Marie at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Mar 3, 2018

Joseph and his BFFs escape/bribe the guards to get out of jail and run off to a malaria-ridden swamp in Illinois. He heads to D.C. to take the saint's grievances to Pres. Van Buren, saving the passengers of a runaway coach along the way. Van Buren doesn't help them, so they start the trek back to Illinois.

 

Patron Bonus: Bryce will be in SLC on March 30, 2018!

Feb 24, 2018

Joseph instructs his followers to gather evidence of how bad bad bad the Missourians were to the saints, such that eventually he can take those grievances to the president.

Polygamy is happening, just on the sly. Wife #3, Lucinda Harris has entered the timeline (probably).

Drink count - 0

 

Patron Bonus: Rob Porter is a BAD Mormon

 

Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Feb 17, 2018

Brigham Young is leading the exodus of the Mormons from Missouri to Illinois while Joseph twiddles his thumbs in jail. Joseph feels his power slipping away and pens an epistle to his followers.

God is either loving or wrathful, the priesthood authority comes from that love/wrath, so priesthood authority is always love. Wait, what?

 

Drink count - 8

 

Patron Bonus: Amanda sleuthed at the ward house, and a missionary update!

 

Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

 

 

Feb 10, 2018

TRIGGER WARNING: Historical violence

 

In the aftermath of the Battle of Crooked River things continue to escalate. The saints living in Haun's Mill are massacred, and eventually Joseph and his BFFs are arrested. Brigham Young is now going to run the church while Joseph and the other important church leaders are sitting in jail.

Mormon Extermination Order 

 

Drink count - 2 beers

 

Patron Bonus: Marie ponders the dead and the survivors

 

Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Feb 3, 2018

Episode 193: The Mormon War, Part 1

Joseph and the leadership of the church (minus Brigham Young) are in the Liberty Jail after they lost the Mormon War of 1838. How did they get there? Behold (drink!), part 1 of Bryce educating us all on the terrible decisions made by basically everyone in the fall of 1838.

Patron Bonus Episode: Marie and Bryce their adventures about Seattle

The Mormon War in Missouri, by Stephen C LeSueur

 

Drink count - whatever you want it to be

 

Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Jan 27, 2018

MBoM has a motto now!!!

"Taken out of context it means nothing, which means it means anything you want it to."

 

All three witnesses to the golden plates have been excommunicated! Thomas Marsh needs to stay in Missouri and work, all the other leaders in the church need to go out and get more followers. Don't worry, God will provide for their families, just GFTO, leadership. In spring, go to Europe!!!

Tithing is giving all your excess to the church as an initial outlay, then give 10% for the rest of your life. Yes, that's really what Joseph means to say.

Drink count - 7

 

Patron Bonus - All about Uchtdorf (presidential politics)

 

Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Contact Marie at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

Jan 20, 2018

Please sign Sam Young's petition to stop bishop interviews of underage children about sexually explicit topics by following this link to ProtectLDSChildren.org.

Pres. Monson's obituary in the NY Times 

Spring Hill is renamed to Adam-ondi-Ahman!!! This is where Christ will return. Then Joseph organizes a group of enforcers and creepily tests some of his followers to make sure they toe the party line.

 

Drink count - 4

 

Patron Bonus Episode: Marie is hopping mad at her local bishop.

 

Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Podcastriarchal Blessing: Jacob C.

Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life, by Maps and Transit, edited for length

 

Jan 13, 2018

Joseph and his BFFs fled Ohio in January 1838, excommunicated the Kirtland Mormons, then reestablished their church in Far West, Missouri. Oliver Cowdery and David Whitmer are tossed out, chaos everywhere! Time for a few revelations that will definitely get Joseph out of this mess. Spoiler, not what happened.

113: Fluff of no substance, kinda based in Isaiah. Zion's choker necklace is somehow related to a curse that scattered the church from Zion? Something something bands around her neck something something.

114: Dear Dave, give me all your assets and tell people how cool I am. Sincerely, Joe

115: God decrees they build a temple in Far West, Missouri. Spoiler, not what happened.

 

Drink count - 10

 

Patron Bonus - Bryce tells us about his FLDS tour in Short Creek

 

Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Contact Marie at Comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Jan 6, 2018

Thomas B Marsh is ostensibly the recipient of this revelation, but in reality it's all about Joseph being the Most Important and that the leadership of the church needs to make sure their assets are
belong to the church.

Gold doesn't melt in campfires!!!

Thomas B Marsh 
Here's a listing of the current General Authorities and their ages. 

Scream

Drink count - 11

Patron Bonus: Bryce is about to go into FLDS territory

Read along with us at CompareDandC.com
Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

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