For the first time ever, David and Bryce record live and in person! It's so moving that even god cries! And, since it's been a long time since you've gotten a "druken episode", it felt like time to play along to the drinking game (WARNING: Probably unsafe to play along at home).
First, God takes out an insurance policy to proactively damn anyone that messes with those pesky 116 pages. Then, Jesus steps in and goes on and on with his heavenly caller ID until he messes up and makes a statement that proves beyond a doubt that everything we're reading isn't true!

Poor ol' Oliver. God gives him a gift, then snatches it away. I'm still not sure if he knows what he's supposed to do. Also, we have some confusion about what the gift was in the first place. It was either some sort of rod, or a male human. See if you can figure it out!

“Drink” Count – 21

3 and a half beers

Episode 100: D&C 5 – Section 6

For the 100th episode, we are joined by Chuck and Matt from the 'Irreligiosophy' Podcast. Since they were kind enough to have me on as a guest when the show was just starting out, it was overdue to have them on. In this 'revelation' we learn that Oliver is quite gifted, and that's about it. But there's plenty of history packed into this one, along with plenty of drinking!

“Drink” Count – 32

About 5 and a half beers

This one is almost 2 hours long (hopefully that's a blessing and not a curse). It's like 2 episodes in 1! Anyway, we start out with a message to Ol' Joe's dad, and then Martin Harris orders his own revelation from on-demand. And then we find out that the LDS church didn't really like everything god originally told Joe and had to make some "updates".

“Drink” Count – 22

Let's call it 4 beers

Breaking news! We have no officially added 'Behold' to the drinking game, which is just in time because without it there would have been no drinks in this whole episode! Section 2 comes and goes in a blink of an eye, and not much is said. Then we get Section 3 which is basically god scolding ol Joe for being stupid enough to lose 114 pages of his 'sacred work'. Oh, and we also find out which auto insurance company god works for.

“Drink” Count – 5 (Almost one beer)

So, God is super pissed off at the humans in this one, but we never really figure out why. And we're told to obey commandments, but sadly we're given nothing about what those commandments are.

“Drink” Count – 11

2 Beers

I'm back!! Sorry to all the Mymos for the long wait. But good news, I'm pleased to introduce the show's new co-host: Bryce Blankenagel from the Naked Mormonism Podcast! I'm so happy to have him on-board!

In this episode Bryce and I unintentionally stumble across some major discrepancies between the original publication of the D&C and the most recent version. Then after a rather comical introduction, we follow Jesus on his tour of the US Northeast and then the Midwest, with some rather odd stops along the way (at one point Jesus is in prison?!?).  

By popular demand, Roman is back! This time we tackle Lehi's wild dreams, Nephi's awesome ship building, and Roman even does a live test of the Liahona to see how well it works in real life!

THE FINAL EPISODE OF THE PRICEY PEARL! WOOT!! Basically what happens is that we learn about the checklist of insanity that every Mormon has to swear that they believe. I think there's only one "article of faith" that I agreed with; the rest are either weird, inexplicable, confusing, or just plain hilarious.  

“Drink” Count – BYOB (technically, no drinks)

David's son Roman tackles the children's version of The Book of Mormon, and he comes to some unique conclusions to describe what in the world is going on. By popular request, this has been made into a standalone episode. Please leave your comments if you'd like to hear more episodes like this.  Enjoy!

WARNING: If you've already listened to Episodes 90 & 91, then you won't find any new content here, this is just Part 1 and 2 compiled together as a standalone episode.

This starts off with a big copy/paste from Episode 1, but once we get through that the fun starts. God, the Holy Ghost, and John the Baptist all show up and start handing out priesthoods like candy. Then we get to meet some new characters like Martin, Oliver, the Professor, and Mary Ann (ok fine, not Mary Ann), and they've got some tales to tell too.

“Drink” Count – BYOB (technically, no drinks)

What could be more fun than listening to the young Joseph Smith whining about how much people picked on him for babbling on about visions? Well, maybe another clip of the very popular Roman taking a crack at the Book of Mormon Stories!

“Drink” Count – 1

This one isn't exactly a "drinking episode"

This one starts out with Ol' Joe's re-translation of a chapter of Matthew from the Bible. It's pretty pointless, but we make it through. Then, we're joined by a very special guest who makes everything so much more entertaining!

“Drink” Count – 3

Not even half a beer.  Better make em shots!

Yet another telling of the Genesis creation story, but this time with even more gods! Then thankfully we're joined by Prophets Fat Joe and Lil Wayne to help finish up The Book of Abraham.

“Drink” Count – 12

2 lovely beers

I don't know what else to say. Kolob is a real thing. I'm still in shock. You've just got to hear this one to believe it.

“Drink” Count – 4

Not even an entire beer (but plenty of insanity)

We finish up The Book of Moses and then jump right into The Book of Abraham. Oh, and there's an Egyptian third grader's art class homework in between. And sadly, the racism and misogyny just keeps getting layered on more and more.

“Drink” Count – 9

Just a beer and a half

And don't forget to check out my interview with John Dehlin from the Mormon Stories podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngomGsqa4l0

Enoch gets whisked away to heaven and to watch the trailer for all of human existence, and it get's really weird really fast. We get islands emerging from the sea, cities being lifted up to the heavens, mountains running away, rivers changing course, fires, floods and (and I swear I'm not making this up) giants! But then it takes mormon racism to a whole new level. So be prepared for some pretty hateful text, this chapter isn't pretty. 

“Drink” Count – 19

A litter over 3 beers

So, we get to meet this slow talking seer guy named Enoch, who, it turns out, everybody hates. But Enoch doesn't seem to care that much since his boyfriend is god (yeah, that's kinda what it sounded like!). God decides to teach all those haters a lesson so he creates the one and only hell as a place to send them (that'll teach em!). Then we jump back in time and some god spirit baptizes Adam and then tells him about how cool that Jesus dude is.

“Drink” Count – 6

Another single measley beer

I’ll see everyone in Salt Lake City on June 25!

First we learn that Satan had a waaaaay better plan for the Earth than Jesus ever did. Next, Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit, but upon reflection, did they really have a choice? Then Cain kills Abel, but again, can you blame him? Then all of humanity turns against God, what a shocker.

“Drink” Count – 6

1 measley beer

I’ll see everyone in Salt Lake City on June 25!

We finally start The Pearl of Great Price, or as we now call it, The Pricey Pearl. So far, it's pretty much just a long conversation that God has with Moses trying to convince him how awesome he is. And we get the creation story of Genesis told in painstaking detail.  Oh, and Satan pops in to say hello. 

“Drink” Count – 15

2 and a half beers

I'll see everyone in Salt Lake City on June 25!

The long awaited "final thoughts" of the Book of Mormon is here.  I do my best attempt to abridge this abridged book, and then share my thoughts about the whole thing. Hopefully I made some sense along the way.

“Drink” Count – This one's a BYOB

Well, this is it, we finally close the book on the Book of Mormon. But before we do, Moroni makes a bunch of questionable claims, and even gives us the famous "Moroni Promise". We also learn about a little trick for how to render god completely powerless, and you'll never guess how simple it is. Then it's all done, and I decide to pray. Yes, that's right, I pray...

But before all that John Dehlin joins me to talk about the new partnership for the Taylor Scholarship with the Open Stories Foundation. And you'll also hear about my upcoming trip to Salt Lake City, Utah!

“Drink” Count – 4 (6 if you include the Dehlin drinks)

Just the one beer (or is it champagne?) 

If you'd like to directly donate to the "new and improved" Taylor Scholarship, you can do so by clicking here

Almost done the book, but not quite yet. In this episode we learn about the gravest of all sins, baptising little children! Just thinking about it can send you straight to hell, so watch out. Then we hear about the pleasant living conditions in the Lamanite and Nephite prisoner of war camps. I'll just put it this way, you'd be much better off to die in battle.

Not a ton of drinks in this one, but we do get a bonus shot!

“Drink” Count – 3, plus one shot

So, a shot and half a beer

This one starts out like a machine gun as we burst through the early chapters, which are basically Moroni's short "self-help" videos for how to do a bunch of Mormon stuff. Then Mormon takes the stage (yeah, he's back somehow) and it just gets weird from there. Oh, and I worry a lot that this might be the last episode... Thankfully, it's not.

“Drink” Count – 7

Barely a little more than one measly beer :-(

We finish up The Book of Ether in this one, but it goes out with a bang! We also learn that Ether is nothing more than a cave dwelling babbling lunatic, that god likes practical jokes, and the those Jaradites just can't turn down the opportunity for a good fight. Seriously, even the Jaradite babies get into the sword swinging action!

“Drink” Count – 50

Almost 8 and a half beers