Enoch gets whisked away to heaven and to watch the trailer for all of human existence, and it get's really weird really fast. We get islands emerging from the sea, cities being lifted up to the heavens, mountains running away, rivers changing course, fires, floods and (and I swear I'm not making this up) giants! But then it takes mormon racism to a whole new level. So be prepared for some pretty hateful text, this chapter isn't pretty.
“Drink” Count – 19
A litter over 3 beers
So, we get to meet this slow talking seer guy named Enoch, who, it turns out, everybody hates. But Enoch doesn't seem to care that much since his boyfriend is god (yeah, that's kinda what it sounded like!). God decides to teach all those haters a lesson so he creates the one and only hell as a place to send them (that'll teach em!). Then we jump back in time and some god spirit baptizes Adam and then tells him about how cool that Jesus dude is.
“Drink” Count – 6
Another single measley beer
I’ll see everyone in Salt Lake City on June 25!
First we learn that Satan had a waaaaay better plan for the Earth than Jesus ever did. Next, Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit, but upon reflection, did they really have a choice? Then Cain kills Abel, but again, can you blame him? Then all of humanity turns against God, what a shocker.
“Drink” Count – 6
1 measley beer
I’ll see everyone in Salt Lake City on June 25!
We finally start The Pearl of Great Price, or as we now call it, The Pricey Pearl. So far, it's pretty much just a long conversation that God has with Moses trying to convince him how awesome he is. And we get the creation story of Genesis told in painstaking detail. Oh, and Satan pops in to say hello.
“Drink” Count – 15
2 and a half beers
I'll see everyone in Salt Lake City on June 25!
The long awaited "final thoughts" of the Book of Mormon is here. I do my best attempt to abridge this abridged book, and then share my thoughts about the whole thing. Hopefully I made some sense along the way.
“Drink” Count – This one's a BYOB