Viva la priesthood! Women not invited. Basically an influx of new members are increasing the need for middle management. Additionally, here are some specific revelations included that didn't come true or are contradictory.
1. The new city of Zion will be built in the Temple Lot.
2. It will happen in this generation (the 1832 generation).
3. No one will pollute Jackson County.
Drink count – 5, or a little less than one beer
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Mindy M
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
July 29, 2017 eveningish, meet up with us at Squatter's Pub in Salt Lake City. We'll probably record a live episode and would love to have you there!!
Jesse Gause is called to be a high counselor to Joseph Smith in his very own revelation, except then history is rewritten to make it be a revelation for Frederick G Williams. Joseph's inner circle is back, now with nicknames! Everyone is exceedingly sinful/steadfastly good. Go get more converts, especially ones with money. Zion needs to pretty itself up. It's the episode where Marie and Bryce rant about the
Prosperity Doctrine.
Check out the Symonds Ryder name-spelling controversy here.
Jim and Tammy Bakker were televangelists back in the late 1980's.
Lwaxana Troi is a character in Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Drink count – 16, or about two and a half beers
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Laurel K.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Help us make the 1876 D&C into something usable! Email Joel Kuhn at dccompare@gmail.com to help with the proofreading. Thanks!
The poor are established (built up, not created) via the United Firm. This is a fancy way to say the church is setting up a welfare system for members of the church.
Joseph revelates himself into a nickname, and maybe a city? You must be equal here on earth to get equal things in heaven (except some people are MORE equal). If you want to get into heaven make sure you're doing all the things you're supposed to down here. Joseph and his peeps get code names. CODE NAMES (omg). Adam-on-diamon is a place where the big wigs give their keys to Jesus via Adam, who will usher in the end times.
Jared Carter
Stephen Burnett
Eden Smith
Hearts Made Glad, by LaMar Peterson - An book by and LDS historian that asserted Joseph Smith's propensity to alter his mind. A lot.
God Awful Movies - The Burning Hell
Drink count - 12, or about two beers
Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Philip S.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
We had such a deluge of astonishingly thorough and informative comments on Section 76 that we made a separate bonus episode just to review them. Thank you so much, everyone!
Read all the comments here:
There's a bonus patron-only episode that happens every week over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast! It's available to every patron, regardless of donation level. You can also snag some sweet, sweet swag, like drink coasters and pint glasses.
Let's get spiritual! Joseph answers our questions about the Book of Revelation (the
bible one) by not answering anything.
Read about the 1876 addition to the D&C here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctrine_and_Covenants#Sections_added_to_LDS_edition
Christopher Walken was the Archangel Gabriel in the movie The Prophecy.
Rot your brain with tribulation fan-fiction by reading the Left Behind series.
Smoke count - 2 (or however much you need to get spiritual)
Drink count – 3
Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Sean S
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Study manual for Chapter 76 on the LDS site!
Telestial: HELL!!!! But temporary.
Terrestrial: For good people who weren't Mormon when they died but haven't heard "the law" and weren't baptised
Celestial: Double plus awesome
Outer Darkness: Not a thing that exists (yet)
The Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory (LIGO) is a large-scale physics experiment and observatory to detect cosmic gravitational waves and to develop gravitational-wave observations as an astronomical tool.
Mark Twain called reading The Book of Mormon "chlorform in print"
Drink count - 4
Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Mindy
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
What happens to us when you die? Resurrection 1 - good people. Resurrection 2 - bad people. Lucifer is bad and is now in hell. Punctuation is terrible, almost as terrible as apostacy!! Marie and Bryce will be there, drinking coffee, ruling alongside Lucifer, and wondering about why their worm is dead. The good people (men) are of the Church of the Firstborn and become (men) gods. All ur stuff r belong to Christ. Christ is middle management to God, so all ur stuff r belong to God.
Drink count - 4 (so lame, do shots instead)
Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Julie B.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
CORRECTION: Cleveland was never the capital of Ohio. At this point in history it was Columbus.
Have fun in sales! Everyone is a vineyard. It's a throwback to last June when everyone was being sent out to be like a trump unto the wilderness. Bryce almost has an aneursym because he wants to tell me all about these dudes who are about to do stuff in the church, but NO, NO SPOILERS. After you die you
get to judge the people who treated you poorly!!!
Check out this fine list of Wikipedia page links:
William E McLellan - He wrote lots of journals
Luke Johnson - Brother of Lyman Johnson
Orson Hyde - Used to be anti-Mormon, then converted when his pastor, Sidney Rigdon joined up with Joseph Smith
Samuel Smith - Joseph Smith's younger brother
Lyman Johnson - Brother of Luke Johnson
Orson Pratt - Joined the same time as his brother, Parley Pratt
Asa Dodds - Just a dude.
Calves Wilson - "Little else is known about him"
Major Ashley - From Massachusetts!
Burr Riggs - Known for frothing at the mouth and getting revelations by hitting his head against the wall.
Simeon Carter - Farmer!
Emer Harris - Just a dude
Ezra Thayer - Built bridges, dams, and mills, from Palmyra
Thomas B Marsh - An original member from way back in the way back
Hiram Smith - Joseph Smith's brother
Reynolds Cahoon - Just a dude (for now)
Daniel Stanton - Just a dude.
Seymore Brudson - Junest a dude (for now)
Sylvester Smith - Bryce really likes him in 1834. In 1832, not really of note.
Gideon Carter - Just a dude.
Ruggles Eames - Just a dude. Not a teddy bear.
Steven Burnett - Just a dude.
Micah B Welton - Just a dude.
Eden Smith - Just dude.
Stephen Hawking threw a party for time travellers.
Read all about the discovery of caffeine here: Coffee!!!!
Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Jay M
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Marie takes a week off because ouch ouch root canals ouch ouch. Be advised the chapter 74 *is* a time jump back to 1830, it wasn't a misprint last week.
Regular shows will return next week!
Read along with us at Joelakuhn.com/dc-compare
The PR problem caused by Ezra Booth's anti-Mormon shenanigans have died down, so now it's time to return to what you were doing. Joseph and Sidney are to go back to translating the bible. Then we jump back in time to 1830 to talk about baptism (sort of). Did you know that circumcision and baptism are kinda sorta related? Bring on the Baptist perspective!
Drink count - 5, or barely a beer if you take huge swigs
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Jefferson D
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Ezra Booth has caused a public image problem by publishing a bunch of anti-mormon letters in the local newspapers. Joseph decides to solve this by sending out his followers to get more followers. Newel K. Whitney is called to be a bishop! It's a bit different than Edward Partridge, who is bishop over all the money and the belongings. Newel is mostly keeping the meeting minutes?
Joseph heavily implies that everyone should keep a journal, which is a problem since apparently general authorities kinda don't. Methinks section 72 is the genesis of modern day recommends...
Be advised that Jim has watched every episode of The Bachelor this season.
Read the story of one woman married to seven brothers here in both Matthew and Luke.
Catherine of Alexandria was a Catholic saint who was aces at converting people to Christianity.
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Catherine C
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Bryce is going on a road trip! Drop him a line at nakedmormonism@gmail.com if you live near a major Mormon historical site. He'd love to meet you!
Chapter 69 is a tangible revelation with a measurable result, and measurable results were achieved!!!!! Oliver Cowdery needs a chaperone on his trip to Zion while holding all of the church's money and revelations, John Whitmer is now designated as gopher/church historian. Chapter 70 is all about giving your excess to the bishop's church, kind of, but in reality we aren't quite sure what it's saying. #equality
Newel K Whitney becomes a bishop in basically the next chapter. Priestcraft is mentioned in the Book of Mormon, but since David didn't know about it, I didn't know about it.
Drink count - 7, or about one beer
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Marie goes to church for the first time in years and makes her friend Marissa experience the adventure with her. Then there is ice cream.
Learn more about the Pussyhat at https://www.pussyhatproject.com/
Smash the Patriarchy decals can be purchased on Etsy from SlapYourLlama
Knitpicks is one of the pillars of the knitting community and where I buy most of my non-independent yarn. Find them at www.Knitpicks.com, unless you're from Scotland, because they don't ship to Scotland.
Douglas Adams was a brilliant writer who left us too soon. Read about his amazing
stories at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Adams
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Hey everyone, this is Marie. Starting next week Bryce and I are going to start posting bonus Patron-only episodes over at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast. This is our first one, and I'm putting it here on the main feed so you can get a taste of whatever is it we're about to start
doing. We'll be talking about whatever Mormonese topic strikes our fancy, and we'll be a bit more... raw about it. While the regular show is typically rated G, or sometimes PG if adultery gets mentioned, today's is PG-13. Bryce drops one f-bomb, and we all know you can't talk about family structure without talking about sexual orientation, gender, and heternormative culture. Hang onto your hats - the bonus episode is about to begin.
Read along at:
The Family: A Proclamation to the World
The Naked I is a play by Tobias Davis. Check out his work at https://tobiaskdavis.com/plays/
Use the new search function when reading along with us at www.JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare!
Is there an immortal beings club that meets every couple of hundred years? Joseph revelates himself into a feedback loop w/r/t the bishopric. Four of Joe's buddies get revelations, then Joe tells us all about how power structures work in the church. Are revelations personal, or are we mouthpieces of god if we feel good about it whatever we're saying? Marie and Bryce practice their "smooth" voices.
The Simple Dog head tilt is a reference to the comic Hyperbole and a Half
Wikipedia Links:
Orson Hyde
Luke S. Johnson
Lyman E. Johnson
William E. McLellin
Lehi's family tree is delightfully non-specific. Check it out on the LDS main site.
https://www.lds.org/new-era/2004/01/lehis-family-tree?lang=eng
Opening Arguments is a highly entertaining and informative legal podcast that discusses (among many other things) immunity from prosecution. Give 'em a listen at http://openargs.com/.
Drink Count - 3, so why even bother?
Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast
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Podcastriarchal blessing: MarsGirl
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
In today's episode of victim-blaming, it's still always your fault. Ezra Booth's anti-Mormon writings have begun appearing in local newspapers! Trust in Joseph anyway, because REASONS. Marie asserts her complete lack of humility, Bryce experiences the spirit of god when listening to heavy metal.
Read the LDS churches’ explanation about D&C revisions/adjustments at
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/adjustments?lang=eng
Foundation Beyond Belief https://foundationbeyondbelief.org/
Drink count - 6 (or barely one beer)
Find everything you've ever wanted to know about the show over at www.mybookofmormonpodcast.com
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Todd and Madeline
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
We learn how to pray without learning many, if any, specifics of how to pray. William McLellin hands us a PRIME example to prove Joseph's prophetic powers by asking for answers to five questions without telling Joseph what those questions were. Joseph gives the most vague of vague answers, Williams tells everyone his questions were answered, and we *never find out what the questions were*.
Listen to Bryce's trilogy on Mark Hofmann here.
Foolish Virgins are explained here.
For Thine Is The Kingdom is a hymn found in the Baptist Hymnal 1991 #659
Drink count - 10, or a little over one beer
Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Bobby M.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Edward Partridge gets micromanaged, Isaac Morley is forgiven, Kirtland will be a thing for five more years (false!), Sidney Gilbert can keep his store, God hates Babylon, and Ezra Booth needs to STFU. Now get back to packing!
Click here to read about Ezra Booth
Click here to read about Isaac Morley
Drink count - 20, or around three beers
Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Craig P.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Sex, Money, and Zombies, as told by Joseph Smith's Twitter Feed
"Totes found #Zion! Come 2 Missouri ASAP. #KirtlandRevelation"
"Everyone 2 #Zion! (not whoremongers, scorcerers, adulterers) #PromisedLand monogamy4life "
"Buy ur land in #Zion 2 b #blessed."
"If ur wicked God will use unquenchable fire. SAD. #destroyed #smite"
"Send ur money to #Zion if u want eternal salvation. #reward #afterlife"
"1st Res. be a twinkle of an eye, live in ur prime! #notzombies"
"#foolishvirgins JUST SAY NO"
"S. Rigdon bad at plat of Zion, god wants do-over."
"CONDEMN CONDEMN CONDEMN #apostate"
Drink count - 22, or about 3 beers
99% Invisible is an amazing podcast that did an episode on why Salt Lake City's street grid is so delightfully unique. Give it a listen at http://99percentinvisible.org/episode/plat-of-zion/
Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Duke of Earl Grey
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Should we do a Mormon Awful Movies?
Which host on NPR Politics Podcast is Mormon? I didn't have time to go back and find out.
62: Joseph phones it in with a quick revelation to some of his peeps who happened to walk by, because they get to keep doing what they're doing while his inner circle remains destined to travel upon cursed waters.
63: God is in a bad mood and will smack you down if you're bad. Also, you shouldn't need a sign/tangible proof to believe in god, because you'll only get a sign if you already believe.
Drink count - 12, or heading towards most of two beers
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Dean S (the Canadian)
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
In the most hydrating revelation yet, Joseph has a boating accident. Here's hoping you don't drown from imperfect faith! It's the episode where Bryce and Marie are unable to remember what verse they're on.
Alan Watts - The Earth is "People-ing"
The Pink Papaya Shop created a whole series of watercolors called "The Wives of Joseph Smith"
Support HereticWoman's show, Beyond The Trailer Park, at https://www.patreon.com/BeyondtheTrailerPark
Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: HereticWoman
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Poor Edward Partridge can't catch a break, what with all the micromanagement. Joseph, Oliver, and Sidney (Rigdon) are on their way to Cincinnati, while his other buddies are sent to St. Louis. They're all instructed to make haste while not speedily returning, and somehow God's jewels are involved.
Drink count - 6, or a little less than a beer.
Eth count - 4
The Pink Papaya Shop created a whole series of watercolors called
The Wives of Joseph Smith
Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Bevin F
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Jim teaches us the hierarchical structure of the church because Marie doesn't know what a General Authority is, and be advised that Duke of Earl Grey is now the show's General Authority (woo hoo!). Joseph Smith repeats a semblance of the 10 commandments, and really that's it. Turns out going to the Bishop to confess is a Thing that happens, and apparently we're supposed to be happy when we're fasting. It's bad to be wasteful and don't be a jerk, and be an environmentalist. Got questions? Scoot, god doesn't have time for them.
Job is a man/chapter in the Bible.
I swear I learned a song in Sunday School that used the verse "love the lord thy god with all they heart", but I couldn't find one with a familiar tune, so really all I did was royally mess up my YouTube video recommendations. I recommend listening to anything from Chvrches, they're pretty cool, and you can say "I'm listening to Chvrch music!"
Drink count - 10, or a bit over one beer
Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Anna F
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Ask not what the church can do for you, but what you can do for your church. If you need a revelation from god to tell you what to do, woe betide you, for you are slothful. For shame! Cross your fingers that all new revelations supersede previous ones, so we all hope that this one no longer matters because Joseph Smith is hypocritical all over the place.
Drink count - 13, plus one extra drink for tomfoolery in revelatory contradictions, and one extra drink for "and bring to pass"
Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Nathaniel B
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
Patriarchal blessings - how do they work?
Punctuation and verse allocation - why don't they work?
Heaven - HOW DOES THAT WORK?
Joseph tells the believers to throw a party with the rich and educated on the VIP list, because who needs consistency with the Book of Mormon when Zion has been found? Edward Partridge is treated like a toddler for (apparently) making bad decisions, but that's okay, he's still the Bishop in charge of the Bishop's Storehouse.
Drink Count - 12, or a bit over one beer.
Sidney Rigdon – The Forgotten Hero of Mormonism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu08PNbWGzc
Zion Temple Lot, conveniently temple free! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Lot
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Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing – Lucy the Valiant
Lucy (the Valiant) Pevensie is the youngest of the Pevensie siblings in C.S. Lewis' series The Chronicles of Narnia.
Got a comment/question/concern? You know you do. Email me at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com