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My Book of Mormon

New RSS feed: http://mybookofmormonpodcast.libsyn.com/rss Ever wondered what Mormon religious texts really say? Play the drinking game with us as we read them all!!!
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Now displaying: 2016
Dec 31, 2016

Ask not what the church can do for you, but what you can do for your church. If you need a revelation from god to tell you what to do, woe betide you, for you are slothful. For shame! Cross your fingers that all new revelations supersede previous ones, so we all hope that this one no longer matters because Joseph Smith is hypocritical all over the place.

Drink count - 13, plus one extra drink for tomfoolery in revelatory contradictions, and one extra drink for "and bring to pass"

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare
Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast
Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com
Podcastriarchal blessing: Nathaniel B
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

 

Dec 17, 2016

Patriarchal blessings - how do they work?
Punctuation and verse allocation - why don't they work?
Heaven - HOW DOES THAT WORK?

Joseph tells the believers to throw a party with the rich and educated on the VIP list, because who needs consistency with the Book of Mormon when Zion has been found? Edward Partridge is treated like a toddler for (apparently) making bad decisions, but that's okay, he's still the Bishop in charge of the Bishop's Storehouse.

Drink Count - 12, or a bit over one beer.

Sidney Rigdon – The Forgotten Hero of Mormonism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu08PNbWGzc

Zion Temple Lot, conveniently temple free! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Lot

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Support show by becoming a Patron at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing – Lucy the Valiant

Lucy (the Valiant) Pevensie is the youngest of the Pevensie siblings in C.S. Lewis' series The Chronicles of Narnia.

Got a comment/question/concern? You know you do. Email me at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Dec 10, 2016

First - don't do drugs unless you're in a religious business meeting. Second, new writer or Oliver Cowdry? You decide. Much parentheses, very comma, so administration, wow. Who cares, now we know where Zion is! It's on the other side of the courthouse in the vacant lot, btw. Praise Heavenly Father.

Drink count - 6, or about 1 beer

Go here to check out episode 135 https://mybookofmormonpodcast.com/2016/11/19/135/

Read all of these on your work computer to make your next performance review REALLY interesting!

http://www.mormonthink.com/files/restoration-sacred-mushroom.pdf

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2529415/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datura

http://www.maripoisoncenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/CTR-Datura-Plant-Poisoning.pdf

Sidney Rigdon - The Forgotten Hero of Mormonism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu08PNbWGzc

Wollmeise is a kind of high quality yarn, the kind that would make you do dishes when it wasn't your turn if you knew your partner would buy you some in exchange for dish duty.

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Support show by becoming a Patron at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

Got a comment/question/concern? You know you do. Email me at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Dec 3, 2016

If you leave the church you can get back all the money you donated to it. Caveat, this only works if your name is Ezra Thayre. Poor-shaming!

Drink count - 11, or about one beer

Follow the hyperlinks below to learn more about what we're referencing!
John Oliver transforms our lives with Multi-Level Marketing 

Good Mythical Morning is a daily comedy show on YouTube 

Creflo Dollar is an extremely wealthy televangelist

 

Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare

Become a Patron at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast
Podcastriarchal blessing music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit
Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing: George G

 

Nov 26, 2016

In the aftermath of the LDS Church's first major business meeting Joseph Smith continues to solve short-term problems by sending everyone to Missouri. We spend the first half of the episode talking about why the entire country was moving to Missouri because of the absolutely horrid Indian Removal Act just put into place by President Jackson. The Mormons didn't do anything to influence or support this act! They sure do benefit from it though (in the short-term, at least).

Read about the Indian Removal Act and Andrew Jackson's positive spin: https://www.loc.gov/rr/program/bib/ourdocs/Indian.html


Andrew Jackson, America's 7th President: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Jackson


Presidential is a brilliant podcast by Lillian Cunningham at the Washington Post, so wander on over and listen all about Andrew Jackson: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/business/presidential-podcast/

Drink count - 10, or about a beer and a half, but really, just drink 10 beers!

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Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare
Become a Patron at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast
Podcastriarchal blessing music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit
Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing: Jonathan U.

Nov 19, 2016

The first ever Big Important Business Meeting of the newly formed church has concluded. Joseph revelates 33 of his VIPs right out into the wilderness (Missouri), and lets us know that another Big Important Business Meeting will happen out there, eventually, when they get around to it. Rejoice, they're about to take the land of their inheritence from the people who have lived on the promised land for that last millenia! Wait, perhaps rejoicing in the future takeover of Native American lands shouldn't be rejoiced about? Oh man, American history is ugly AF.

Drink count - 11 (or about a beer and half)

Edson Fuller and his religiously enthusiastic buddies are described in detail at https://history.lds.org/article/doctrine-and-covenants-religious-enthusiasm?lang=eng

Curious about any of the men listed in this chapter? Head over to these two websites and enter in their name:
lds.org
josephsmithpapers.org

Symonds Ryder's gravestone is found at http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=10388814

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare
Show dedication and podcastiarchal blessing - John P
Podcastriarchal blessing music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit

Nov 12, 2016

David Michael returns! We learn that if you're supposed to give everything to the church, and if you're bad then you lose access to all the stuff you gave away. So... be good?

Drink count - 2 (which is good, because we were very hungover)

Andrew Torrez is a wonderfully good sport and can be heard on Opening Arguments Podcast at openargs.com

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

 

Nov 5, 2016

We address the controversy we accidentally started in episode 130, D&C section 46 (oops!). So, should we start a Comments Section discussion at the start of each episode? Email me, let me know at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com.

Section 50: Joseph lets us all know that everyone needs to calm down with the revelations and spiritual phenomena. False spirits aren't good, y'all, you need to stick with the true spirits that come from God, and Joseph is here to tell us how.

Drink count - 14, or about two beers

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Oct 29, 2016

Marie and Bryce dish about Marie's Ft Collins trip and Bryce's recent run-in with Mormon missionaries, then get their act together to read Chapter 49. Did you know that the current chapter order is completely different than the chapter order in the original version? Neither did Marie!

Chapter 49 - Joseph Smith reveals how wrong, wrong, wrong the Shakers are and affirms that marriage is between one man and one woman, vegetarianism is bad, god is not a woman, and baptism must be done.

Married Drink count - 9, or about one beer
Unmarried Drink count - 9 + bonus beer, or about two beers

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Oct 22, 2016

Local (to me) listener Jim Van Heel joins me in Studio MK (Marie's Kitchen) to read two administrative chapters. Woo hoo! But first, Jim tells us about leaving the church, the difficulties of bringing up the hard topics, and beer.

Drink Count - 2

Read along with us at patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast  

Podcastriarchal blessing - Tyler S.

Support the show at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

Intro music by Maps & Transit, Our Happy Life. It was shortened by six seconds to fit the introduction.

Oct 15, 2016

I saw the (spiritual) signs, I opened up the D&C, I saw the (spiritual) signs. #danceparty  

Drink count - 5  

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Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Oct 8, 2016

Episode 129: D&C 30 - Section 45 Part 2

Jesus reasserts that he is lord, then there's talk about the end of days (Michael Bay, please direct the movie of this), and it wraps up with Zion will be The Best Place Ever. None of this has anything to do with the false reports and foolish stories that caused this revelation to be brought forth, so mostly I'm confused.

Drink count - 10

Read along with us as joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Help support the show at patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

Oct 1, 2016

On September 10, 2016 I visited the Ft Collins Temple with my friend Chad. This is our audio diary.

Official Ft Collins Temple photographs are here - https://www.lds.org/church/news/see-inside-new-fort-collins-colorado-temple-opening-for-tours-august-19?lang=eng

To read more about the process used to build a Mormon temple, read this article - http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/mormon-temple-building-process

The George W. Bush presidential library is in Dallas, TX. Much like touring a Mormon temple, pre-game before you enter. https://www.georgewbushlibrary.smu.edu/

Napoleon's Sarcophagus is at Les Invalides in Paris. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Invalides

New Belgium Brewing are the makers of Fat Tire Beer. http://www.newbelgium.com/Brewery

Casa Bonita is a Mexican restaurant in Denver. www.CasaBonitaDenver.com

Become a patron at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Sep 24, 2016

Mormons who make the news tend to be the worst examples of Mormonism. The only thing we learn in this section is that headers can be super awkward when they're full of ellipses.

9 drinks, or about a beer and a half.

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Sep 10, 2016

Joseph lets us know that God will be with the believers at a meeting that will occur in June. Marie and Bryce accidentally discuss the Pony Express, then discuss our interactions with and views of modern day Mormonism.

4 drinks, so you'd be better off doing shots rather than waste half a beer.

Sound of Cylons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMUezhpuEoE

Marie's interview with Cass and Bob will be up on http://www.everyonesagnostic.com/ in mid-September 2016.

Marie's friend Marie has a swear-filled podcasted called Fresh Out. Hear her stories of leaving behind unreal expectations imposed on us by others, by religion, by culture, or by ourselves. http://freshouttruestory.podbean.com/

Foster Kittens on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/foster_kittens/?hl=en

Intro Music by Andy G. Cohen. "Scramby Eggs" from the album Layers (EP). http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Andy_G_Cohen/Layers_1240/

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Sep 4, 2016

Revelators gonna revelate, so listen only to Joseph the Revelator. Marie and Bryce do their best God Voices, and Mean Jesus doesn't want you to have a good time.

13 drinks, or about two beers.

Read along with us at www.joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Read the LDS churches' explanation about D&C revisions/adjustments at
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/adjustments?lang=eng

Aug 28, 2016

Women are part of this section!!!! Don't worry, it's all negative. Peer pressure is a thing, much in the way that logical narrative flow isn't. 5 drinks, or one beer if you take big swigs (recommended).

Read along with us at www.joelakuhn/dc-compare

Aug 21, 2016

In today's episode of victim-blaming, it's all your fault because you don't have enough faith. If you're in 1831 you learn about allocating space for newcomers, if you're in 2013 or later you learn that you get one free pass, then you have to stop your adulterous ways. I wish I was kidding. 13 drinks, or about 2 beers.

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Aug 14, 2016

Ownership, 1831 Edition: All ur stuff are belong to the bishop.

Ownership, 2013 Edition: All ur excess stuff are belong to the church for the benefit of the poor, occasionally, if it works out that way.

10 drinks, or approximately 2 beers (feel free to round up).

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Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Check out authorship attribution on slide 185 at http://mormonleaks.com/library/episode-06/#

Aug 7, 2016

God's strength is affirmed when he assures James Covel that moving to Ohio will be a 100% success, then Satan swoops in and tempts Covel right outta there. Joseph and Sidney get revelated into nicer houses. It's good to be in charge! 19 drinks, or about three beers.

Read long with me at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

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Jul 31, 2016

God commands Joseph to bring his people from Fayette, NY to Ohio, despite it being around 20F/-6C and windy outside. Marie and Bryce have an attack of empathy after Joseph’s followers are commanded to leave all their worldly possessions behind so they can live as sharecroppers on a rich guys’ land. God decides to withhold anything good from his followers just in case they might one day become prideful and need to be exterminated. 14 drinks, or about 2 beers, which frankly, isn’t nearly enough for this sobfest.

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Jul 24, 2016

Episode 118: D&C 36-37

Two quickie revelations ensure that a local rich dude feels extra special, and that a Bible translation is paused due to impending church migration from NY to OH. Marie and Bryce rejoice in finishing these revelations so quickly, then take a turn for the dark when Marie rants about how the primary spiritual gift for women sometimes kills them.

Four drinks, or less than one beer, but I think you should just take big swigs.

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To read along with us, go here: http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Jul 17, 2016

Marie and Bryce learn that rampant pronoun use is incredibly confusing and eventually suss out that Sydney Rigdon will replace Oliver Cowdery as Joseph Smith’s scribe, but first Marie can’t resist geeking out about Lu La Roe clothing. The terrible line spacing and punctuation differences between the original and current versions of chapter/section 35 lower the readability and increase the fun! Seven drinks, or approximately one beer.

Jul 11, 2016

BREAKING NEWS, yet another guy is sent forth into the wilderness to preach the gospel. We also have a brief discussion of blood moons and Stargate SG-1, because astronomy is cool. A measly seven drinks, or approximately one beer.

Jul 3, 2016

This is an odd set of revelations. The first one is addressed to Parley P. Pratt and Ziba Peterson, telling them to go preach to the Natives on the border with the Lamanites in Missouri. The second one is addressed to Northrop Sweet and Ezra Thayre, telling them to go preach to the Natives on the border with the Lamanites in Missouri; but, the second one is WAAAAAY BETTER!!! The first section is 5 verses long and ends with a pathetic 1 “Drink!” while the second section talks about thrusting sickles, filling open mouths, and referencing the Book of Mormon, all while nearly murdering our livers with 20 “Drinks!” Why would these two revelations be telling different people to do the same thing, yet sound so different in doing so?

 

“Drink!” count – 21

Over 3 beers!

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