President Gordon B Hinckley presented this gem during part of a speech given on September 23, 1995.
Drink whenever you can't handle these words anymore.
Church leadership was powerless - POWERLESS - to change their extremely racist policy. After a bunch of petitioning, god changed his mind about black people.
Drink count - 6
Read along with us on LDS.org
Wilford Woodruff writes a memo to the Saints, which then has to be followed up with a few "No, seriously, we mean it!" lectures. Refrain from polygamy because OMG, what if the government takes all our stuff???
Drink count - around 5
Read along with us at Official Declaration 1
Pres. Joseph F. Smith has a dream in 1918 and behold (drink!) it did bring unto him a revelation from God. Or it's D&C fanfic from an old guy nearing the end of his days. You be the judge.
Drink count - 2
Read along with us at CompareDandC.com
Patron Bonus - Protect LDS Children/McKenna Denson
Throwback to before the Kirtland Temple Dedication! Joseph lets you know that you definitely need this temple because ordinances, and do those ordinances so your ancestors have the chance to get into heaven.
Patron Bonus - How *you* doin'?